The Rezort Review

It’s very hard for me to resist a zombie film because growing up I fell in love with them. So when I saw The Rezort on the trending section of my Netflix account I thought that it would be a good idea to check out the film.

The Rezort is a movie that takes place in a world where zombies and humans at one point went to war. After the humans won the war there was a resort opened where people could take a trip to an island where zombies were held, and shoot them for sport. The movie explains that this a way for people to vent their frustrations with the Zombies. From the sound of things it’s pretty obvious what happens next. While people are on the island thinking everything is safe, there’s a security problem that releases the zombies and forces our characters to find a way to survive.

Honestly, I think this concept is actually pretty cool. It plays out like a “Jurassic Park with zombies” movie. The problem with the film is that the good ideas stop after that initial concept. The execution is cookie cutter at best. There’s nothing that stands out from this movie in a good way aside from that core concept.

The characters are terrible. Our main character, Melanie (portrayed by Jessica De Gouw), doesn’t like zombies because they killed her father during the war. It’s something that she’s lived with ever since, and she’s had problems coping with that event. She eventually decides to go to the rezort with her boyfriend, Lewis. Her character had some potential to bring some emotional depth to the movie, but this script fails to flesh out her character at all. Lewis doesn’t really have much going for him either. His defining trait is that he fought in this war, so he actually knows how to use a gun.

During the first act of the movie we’re introduced to the characters that are going to be at this resort with our main couple. These introductions told us little to nothing about any of them because the writers know that they’re just there to be food for the zombies. The worst characters have to be Jack (portrayed by Jassa Ahluwalia) and Alfie (portrayed by Lawrence Walker). They’re the most obnoxious “bro” characters who are there to be stereotypical teenagers. They hit on all of the girls and are apparently really good at online video games. The two actors who played them didn’t help with the situation either. Not since The Enchantress from Suicide Squad did I wish characters would disappear every time they popped up on screen. Luckily for all of us, one of these two idiots is among the first to die. That could qualify as a spoiler, but truthfully anyone who sees these guys knows they won’t be surviving. I cheered when it happened too because I knew the quality of the movie had potential to get better with them gone. I hate both of them…I really do.

Let’s talk about the zombies themselves. Every movie has zombies with their own distinct attributes. 2016’s Train to Busan is a good example of having zombies with different features. They weren’t the generic super slow zombies and they had this thing where if they couldn’t see you they just stopped chasing you altogether. The Rezort does absolutely nothing to make their zombies seem unique. I’ve seen these zombies a million times and i’m tired of them.

The narrative is nothing impressive. It feels formulaic in execution. You can predict pretty much everything that happens 15 minutes in advance and it breaks any and all tension. There’s also one character who apparently never needs to reload, even though he’s shooting a rifle. Little things like this really annoy me. Character decisions don’t make sense and I found myself confused a lot of the time. They try to play up this message that zombies were once people, so you should treat them better. They even have a character that’s a zombie rights activist. I really can’t make this stuff up. I’m laughing just thinking about it.

Overall, The Rezort is a bad movie. There is a cool core concept, but it gets completely thrown away with a terrible narrative and bad acting. At the very least I found this movie entertaining at times. Of course it wasn’t for the reasons that the creators intended because this movie really does take itself seriously. There are a million zombie films that are better so there’s no reason for you to waste your time on this one.

The Rezort gets a 12/100 and is awarded the title of…

Unwatchable

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